Wow. Just Fucking Wow.

 Still dealing with the issue of mortality.  Which I guess is better than being beyond having to deal with it.  Since my first few posts, things have sucked.  Finally got a colonoscopy in March, only to find out I had colon cancer.  Surgery in April was successful, do back down to just the one cancer - the one that will lkely kill me some day.  Hopefully way down the road, but no promises.  I got a breakthrough CoVid case and then a kidney stone this fall.  Just when the physical stuff got to at least a place I can coast for a bit, Jill told me yesterday she is leaving me.  The spark is gone and has been for some time.  I don't disagree, but I also was trying to re-kindle it.  It's completely out for her, and she doesn't want that.  I understand.  I've had thoughts before that maybe we weren't the best match anymore, but we love each other, get along, and have some great kids together.  I feel too old and ill to start over.  But that is what I will have to do, soon.  So, fuck.